Slightly Frayed, In Need of Repair

There are so many different ways an abuser can groom a child. I can't speak to all of them, but I can share with you how my abuser groomed me. Building trust is key and having their niece, who was the same age as me come to stay for the summer was the beginning of building that trust. It was a perfect opening for having me come over to their house. We got along great and I remember being somewhat in awe of her. She seemed so much more mature and worldly to me and I wanted to be just like her. The neighbor's mobile home was pretty cool. At one end, there was a full bar. I remember we would sit at the bar and feel so grown up. There were books on how to make cocktails and the bar was stocked with a huge variety of alcohol, liqueurs, and mixes. One day I was asked if I would like to be the bartender and make drinks for the adults. I thought that was the coolest thing ever. He walked me through on how to make margaritas and then encouraged me to taste it, "just to see what it ...

To be so innocent, so unaware of the evil that was so cleverly disguised. How I wish I could go back and tell her to be aware, to be on her guard at all times. I was in the 2nd grade when this picture was taken and it would be 3 more years before the first incident took place. When I think back on everything that I have experienced, it almost feels as if I'm looking at some Lifetime drama movie of the week. Seriously, this can't be my actual life. I mean, how much crappy stuff does one person have to experience. There's a reason I decided to start my story at age 7 instead of 9. This was about that time that the teasing began. As you can see from the picture, I was a chubby kid and that makes you a target for people to make fun of you. I've never understood why people think you're not as smart, just because you're overweight. It was even worse since my last name was Baker. I still hear the taunts, "Bake me a cake, as fat as you are!"  I tried not to le...