Where in the hell did a month go? I can't believe my last post was on April 9th. If you read that post, then you know the last words I typed were "Still hiding". Well, I can honestly say that over this past month, I've been doing anything but hide.
Since April was Sexual Abuse Awareness month, I decided that it was time to be vulnerable and finally speak up. I created a post and put it on my Instagram, Facebook Business and personal pages. I literally was shaking as I hit the post button, but nothing was to prepare me for what was to come.
I started getting responses from others, sharing that they too, had been abused or assaulted. That they had been suffering from years of guilt. That they too were planning on finally getting help. Most of the people who responded, were people I knew, some since childhood. I can't even begin to describe the wave of emotions that came over me. There was an initial amount of sadness for the innocence lost, but there was equally rage and anger that so many others had gone through such a traumatic experience. I realized that I had done the right thing in sharing and maybe, just maybe, some real healing might begin to take place.
So tomorrow is my first therapy session. Not quite sure how this is going to go and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little bit nervous/anxious, but I am just going to go in with an open mind and let the work and the healing begin. I've been to therapy before, but not for this.
I know you all want to know what happens next in my story. I promise, I will get there. But for now, if you only take one thing from today, let it be that keeping things to ourselves and trying to go it alone or pretend it never happened is not a good idea. Talking about it, sharing, writing it down...all these things help to take the power out of the traumatic event(s), and once you start deflating that power, the healing begins.
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